Me and Larry

So my gay dad is weird. He's been schlepping around this poster since 1989. That's a long time ago! Hey the poster is older than me!

He has this Laurence Olivier thing and spent 700 dollars framing the poster under glass where it is proudly displayed in the living room. I mean, in the photo, where are they looking? Are they looking at the heath?! I spent much time pondering this question. I even adopted the pose so I can maybe see what they are doing:


But I could see nothing except baby kitty's fatness take over the universe. Now if you readers think that I'm exaggerating about her humongosity, just take a look at this photo:


I rest my case!

Help us Tim Gunn!

My gay dad needs to calm down. He's been yelling at his students again! Dude take a quaalude.

OK the same yelling crazy gay dad that I mentioned above went to China this summer. Now in China it gets hot. I get that. And they cannot run into a mall or a movie theater to cool down as we do in the US. So in order to cool down, the men pull up their shirts to their nipples and expose their midsection, like this:


OK far be it for me to question cultural differences, BUT THIS IS NOT NICE!!!!!! NOT A GOOD LOOK!!!!!!! OMG no no no no. Is there any other way? Especially when there are a group of them all doing the same thing. This is what I feel like:


Where is Tim Gunn? Come save me!

Stupid Charmmy

OK I just have to post ONE MORE THING about Hello Kitty. So everyone who read my recent post is saying, "Who the hell is Charmmy? This is so lame. I looked up Charmmy Kitty and found this!

It's so cute that I want to barf. Even Baby Kitty wants to barf. And who is that weird little parasite on top of her? Evidently it's Sugar. What the hell kind of name is that?

So here's the deal. Hello Kitty is not a cat but a British girl, who has a cat named Charmmy who has a stupid pink bow and a weird parasite named Sugar. Is this a fractal?

Beyonce so pretty

So I'm still fuming about the fact that Hello Kitty is not a cat. It's like saying that Baby Kitty is not fat. Ugh! OK onto happier matters. I've been listening to a lot of Beyonce lately. I think that she is awesome, and stylish. I looked online and found this lovely picture.

Of course we know that she has shapely legs, which is part of her appeal. See how nicely they are crossed in the picture? So I thought maybe I can have a modeling career too? Maybe? See I can cross my legs.





I think I have a shot. It beats sitting around watching Baby Kitty wolf down her breakfast. Where is Heidi Klum?!!!!!

Hello not Kitty?

Look! My gay dad went to the Hello Kitty cafe in Seoul! Isn't it adorable. And he saw a Hello Kitty plane. Why can't I have a plane?





And the bomb fell and we found out the following! WTF!

Hello Kitty is a British girl, not a cat

Hello Kitty has whiskers. She has pointy, feline ears. She has "Kitty" in her name." Despite all that, she is not a cat, according to Sanrio, the Japanese company that produced her. Rather, Hello Kitty is a third-grade British girl who lives outside London. Christine R. Yano, an anthropologist at the University of Hawaii who has extensively studied the cartoon character, is curating a Hello Kitty retrospective at the Japanese American National Museum. But in putting together the exhibit, she stumbled across this shocking truth: When Yano was preparing her written texts for the exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum, she says she described Hello Kitty as a cat. "I was corrected — very firmly," she says. "That's one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty." [Los Angeles Times] Wikipedia still claims Hello Kitty is a Japanese Bobtail cat. Wikipedia is wrong, if Yano is to be believed.

What kind of stupid ass announcement is this!??

Somewhere beyond the Kuiper belt...

Hello world, so in my deepest cogitations I have made a connection that might explain a lot of things. We all remember Mulder and Scully from the X-files, spaceships, extraterrestrial take-over, all that good stuff.

Well, I came across an image of an alien the other day that made me realize: OMG is baby kitty an alien? I mean, look at the resemblance!!!!

The same tiny mouth aperture, little nose, vacant eyes fixed on nothing in particular. I'M NOT KIDDING, PEOPLE!!!!!! Please someone get on eBay and send me a sonic screwdriver! This is my other gay dad with a sonic screwdriver. OMG.

Stingo eye so big

Today it seems that my eye is verrrrrry big.

According to our Margaret Cho, I am in good company!

Why is Stingo sitting against the wall?

Sometimes I need a moment to myself. Thank you.

stingo with darth tater

how can you sleep at a time like this?

baby kitty: alors! 

me: baby, you need to relax. like me.

me:  zzzzzzzz......

Leopard suspected of eating 15 people in Nepal

OK clearly there are other kitties that are doing something useful for the world:

Kathmandu, Nepal (CNN) -- A ferocious leopard may have killed 15 people in Nepal in a 15-month span, its latest victim a 4-year-old boy that the creature dragged away into the jungle to eat. The head of boy was found in the forest a kilometer from his home Saturday morning, said Kamal Prasad Kharel, the police chief of the Baitadi district, an area about 600 kilometers (373 miles) west of Kathmandu.The grisly discovery, which came after teams of people searched for the child, marks the 15th victim in the past 15 months in that remote district in western Nepal. The police chief suspects that a single man-eating leopard is responsible for the deaths. If not, there are at most two of the man-eating creatures around, he believes. Maheshwor Dhakal, an ecologist at the Department of National Parks and Wildlife Conservation in Kathmandu, agreed that it is unusual to find more than one or two man-eating animals in one area. Most leopards live on wild prey. More human victims could also be expected if there were more than one or two man-eaters around, he said,"Since human blood has more salt than animal blood, once wild animals get the taste of salty blood they do not like other animals like deer," Dhakal said. Kharel said he feared the actual number of people killed by the leopard could be higher than 15, because others have lost their life to leopard attacks in Uttarkhand state in northern India, which borders Baitadi district. "It could be the same leopard," he said. The chief district administrator has granted permission for this particular leopard to be killed. Normally, it is illegal to kill wild animals. Leopards are common in the low mountain areas, as compared to the high Himalayas, across the country. While cases of leopards killing domestic animals are common, and there are sometimes instances of leopards killing people in Nepal, this case is "extreme," Dhakal said.

Baby Kitty looks like an eel

Recently my gay dad and my other gay dad have been having an argument about eels. my gay dad eats no meat except for fish "with fins". My other gay dad contends that eel don't have fins. My gay dad, who is especially fond of unagi-don, points to wikipedia: Eels are elongated fish, ranging in length from 5 cm (2.0 in) in the one-jawed eel (Monognathus ahlstromi) to 4 m (13 ft) in the slender giant moray. Adults range in weight from 30 g to well over 25 kg. They possess no pelvic fins, and many species also lack pectoral fins. The dorsal and anal fins are fused with the caudal or tail fin, forming a single ribbon running along much of the length of the animal. He argues that a tail fin is good enough. i think that baby kitty is a monognathus ahlstromi. we can eat her!

Even i can admit that she is cuter than an eel.

oh. hello.

why, hello there. for those of you who just joined us, my name is stingo atuk. they say i am very handsome. don't mind the man behind me. he is only here to feed me wet food. i only eat the finest wet food.

february -- a good time to snuggle

look at how much snow is outside!

Killer kitties unite

This is an article that I found on this lazy Wednesday morning.

Think of the world's most prolific killers, and you might come up with a list that includes sharks, lions and even humans.

But our smaller, feline friends may be higher up on the list than previously thought, says a report in the journal Nature Communications.

Domestic cats kill between 1.4 billion and 3.7 billion birds and up to 20 billion small rodents each year, according to researchers at the Migratory Bird Center of the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute.

The report, published Tuesday, found that cats -- particularly strays -- are "likely the single greatest source of anthropogenic mortality for U.S. birds and mammals."

Though they are cute and cuddly, felines are actually finely tuned killers that affect wildlife to such an extent that the researchers have called on authorities to come up with ways to lessen their environmental impact.

"To maintain the integrity of our ecosystems, we have to conserve the animals that play integral roles in those ecosystems," said Dr. George Fenwick, president of the American Bird Conservancy. "Every time we lose another bird species or suppress their population numbers, we're altering the very ecosystems that we depend on as humans. This issue clearly needs immediate conservation attention."

A study conducted by the International Union for Conservation of Nature Red List of Threatened Species found that free-ranging cats on islands have caused or contributed to 33 of the modern bird, mammal, and reptile extinctions recorded by the group, or 14% of the total.

A free-ranging domestic cat is defined as a cat allowed to leave home and roam freely around the property not under the watchful eyes of its owner. Cats, not unlike lions and tigers, use two hunting strategies. They will either stalk their prey or wait to ambush the prey when it gets close enough. Owners of free-ranging domestic cats likely have had to dispose of a dead animal that their pets proudly returned home.

happy new year everyone!

baby kitty. it's is 2013. happy new year! baby? 

zzzzzzzz.......

what is all that noise?

baby kitty catches a bad cold. she is all wheezing and sniffling and gurgling and barfs everywhere. then she loses her appetite, even for wet food. immediately my gay dad gets worried and takes her to the vet. evidently reports had it that she screamed the whole way (quelle surprise!). while at the vet, she sneezes about 15 times in succession and spews out all this snot. eeeeuwwwwwww. that's so gross, baby. then the vet gives her these pills, which of course she throws up whenever my gay dad administers them. finally he gave up. she is so fat.

miso happy when you so happy

we have a visitor! a kitty named miso comes to visit. he is an orange
tabby like my ex-boyfriend loki from houston. of course baby kitty was SO MAD! so mad. i was trying to be nice to miso, but baby kitty would come and hit him on the head, and then she would hit ME on the head. so i had to snuggle with baby kitty to make her feel less abandoned. and poor miso was friendless. baby kitty even stole his scratching pad. she is so bad. finally miso kitty went away, but i hope that he comes back.

baby it's cold outside!

it was sooooo cold this winter. we had five storms.
it was even freezing inside!



baby's got her winter coat on.

i am so mad at my gay dads for moving here. evidently the heat was very expensive so they kept it off during the day. excuse me, but aren't there kitties in the house who need to be warm? and i am slender, UNLIKE SOME KITTIES,and don't have much in the way of natural insulation. i would try to snuggle next to baby kitty but she is so temperamental.

we moved!

trauma of all traumas. my gay dad and my other gay dad decided to move in together, so we had to leave wellesley! wah! baby kitty screamed in the car the whole way. i'm like, girl, you're not dying. she is such a fat baby. anyway, here is a picture of me looking at my new digs.

of course i hid behind the refrigerator for a few hours.

then i was fine. baby kitty meowed for days. drove me CRAZY.

my so called mom

my mommy debbie came to visit me! she is so pretty.

she was in wellesley to chat to my gay dad about something
or the other. also she is involved in native american rights.

I love native americans! I think that I am one.

what's a native american?

sadly, I have to say, my mommy said that i look old! i'm not old. i'm
only .... ok well maybe i'm a little old. i'm distinguished! anyway
i went on the shopping network and bought all this fur cream. now i
have beautiful fur. here is a picture of me and mommy touching each
other




do you think that she is creating me or i am creating her? hahaha.

plus size model for 2010

Hello world! This week I held a baby kitty lookalike contest. The events were (a) eating, (b) sleeping, (c) looking fat. Over 100 kitties participated from around the globe. And the winner is Gertrude from Germany! Those Wagnerian Germans always have a genetic advantage. Congratulations Gertrude! You are crowned the Miss Baby Kitty Lookalike Queen for the next year!

croissanwich!

awwwww look how cute i am. oh baby kitty is pretty cute as well.
she is spooning me. you know, she sort of looks like a buttery
croissant here. you must admit that the similarity is striking.

kitty platelets and bonito flakes

hi everyone! well, i got dragged to the vet. i guess my gay dad was worried that i am so skinny the doc weighed me and found that i was about 7.5 pounds, same as last year, so i was stable. baby kitty got dragged along too. she screamed. i'm like, girl, you aren't dying. then they shaved our necks and tried to draw blood. i did it just fine, but baby was a hollering lunatic and they couldn't take any blood out. bad hippo baby! but as it turns out, the blood test cost 125 dollars, so my gay dad was grateful for baby kitty's screaming fit.

so here are my blood test results. um. omg! look how high my cholesterol is. i should stop eating those oily bonito flakes. and my potassium is low. note to self:  remember to eat more bananas.

are my platelets ok? i hope so!!!! but the doc said that i was the bill of good health, in general. yay me! 

if *my* cholesterol is high, i am dying to know baby kitty's cholesterol level. haha fatty kitty.

idoodle

hello world. sorry i've been out of touch. i got a new iphone and
i can't stop playing with it. i have this nice app called idoodle.
look what i drew! it's a picture of baby. and i made her face
nice and round to emphasize how fat she is. she is the big
kitty face taking over the world!

yawning in the new year

dear world:

the hippo kitty and i would like to wish everyone a happy holiday season.

we have been offline for a while because i've been at a yoga training center and hippo was at a fat farm for kitties (it did no good). in wellesley there is this yoga studio called laughing dog. um excuse me?! dogs don't laugh. they drool and whine. i'm going to open a studio called yawning kitty. off to nap!

stingo

flied lice

my mom's friend has had a battle with lice in her house lately. i am sympathetic. baby kitty and i feel your pain, assy!

my, what beautiful ears you have!

it's been a tough time for ears. everyone's ears are falling apart. baby kitty got a hematoma in her ear and had to have surgery on it. she screamed all the way to the vet, as usual. now her ear is kind of crinkly. lydia had the same problem with her ear too. and then there's moby. he got into a fight with another dog, who bit off half his ear. my ears, however, are both beautiful and perfectly shaped. take a look at the ears below and try to identify mine!

Ear Number One

Ear Number Two

Ear Number Three

Ear Number Four