basic instinct

this is how i see it. i am a kitty. but i am
really a puma! PUMA! i crawl to the highest point
of my living room, i mean JUNGLE! I am a PUMA in
a JUNGLE. meow. I scan the dangerous jungle for
moving signs of life. nothing. but suddenly in
the corner of my eye there is movement! my puma
senses are alert! it is baby kitty! i mean, it
is a hippo! a big HIPPO! the hippo-kitty sits
and lounges, jiggling her big hippo-kitty butt
in the open sun. i prepare to pounce at the wiggly
mound of fat, a tasty dinner at hand! here i go! i
jump! the hippo-kitty sees me, fear in her hippo eyes,
begins to run, but i am svelte and lissom, and i catch
up to her! i attack the hippo-kitty from behind! she
turns around, extends her arm and hits me on the head!
OWWWWWW. ow ow ow ow ow. so mean. such a mean
hippo-kitty. ow ow ow my head hurts. i slink away in
pain. it is difficult being king of the jungle.

sweet lydia

besides baby kitty i spent most of my life living
also with lydia, a calico who was hungry all the
time. lydia was nice but she largely ignored me,
spending most of her time sleeping or looking
for nibbles. of the three of us, she would kill
all the little mice that came our way (i am scared
of mice, did i mention?), and one
time she protected us from the evil poka (more on
poka later). she spent a great deal of time in
the litter pan, and i would have to wait and wait
and wait. one time i couldn't wait any longer
and had to pee in the houseplant.
sadly lydia died last november. my
gay dad cried and cried. here are some pictures
of lydia, one when she was a baby, and one with
my other gay dad dj.

Where's My Parade?

boo. mom gets to go kayaking and my gay dad gets to view the rockies from a helicopter. all i get to do is to play with my own tail, and everyone thinks that i am weird. baby kitty hisses and pretends that she is some fashion model. i am bored.

ow! my beautiful ears!

ear pulling contests are scary. who ever
thought of them? i could never subject my
pretty ears to such brutality. i think
that i have nicer ears than baby kitty.
speaking of body parts, i think that my
tail is pretty fun. i have a cute tail.
baby kitty has an unattractive ratty tail.
sometimes i chase my tail and everyone
thinks that i'm crazy. i don't care what other people think.

watch amazing inuit women (did I mention my mom is inupiaq?) pulling each other's ears here:
http://community.adn.com/mini_apps/vmix/player.php?ID=1469590&GID=

she's no farrah, this one

baby kitty occasionally has bad hair days. so clearly it
is my job to fix her hair. so i try and try
to groom her. what are friends for? then she
gets all meowy and starts to squirm and fret,
and her little paw comes out and bops me on
the head. no gratitude at all, even though her
hair now looks fantastic. how can she expect to look
like a diva when her hair is out of place? i'm sure.

if I don't watch my figure, who will?

that baby kitty. she keeps trying to steal my food. i get wet food and she gets dry. that's how it is now. but when the wet food comes i can always sense her sneaking around behind me. it makes me nervous. she's sneaky. sometimes when she keeps watching me eat i lose my appetite. that's exactly what she wants, you see. after i abandon my food she slinks up and eats the rest. i hate to broadcast this to the world, but she's getting a bit paunchy. i for one am still maintaining my cute girlish figure.

me -- seven years and two lives ago!

As you will notice in this digital photograph, I hail from the Anti-Cruelty Society (Chicago). My first home was on the Ravenswood brown line until Mom flew me to Houston to live with Stanley and DJ (humans), Lydia and Baby Kitty (felines), and Doubtless (Iguana). We all lived there until we moved to Wellesley, Mass.

My how a body gets around.

true colors!

My gay dad took my delinquent mom to the big gay Cyndi Lauper all-star concert in Boston. Oh, how I yearned to go! If only I could have seen Rufus Wainright, Erasure, Blondie and Margaret Cho under one roof! I had my heart on hearing Blondie, but understand she was not so good. But, a big shout out to Margaret Cho for her rap about her "puss!"



"My puss is keeping it real. Your puss invented the wheel!"

my first blog entry

back in 2000 my mom wrote this email to her friend Jenny:

"I worked on that paper last night at home from 10:00 until 12:30. I took two breaks and talked on the phone. While I was on the phone Stingo jumped on and around my laptop. This time I was prepared. I left a blank Word document open so I could see what he "typed." I saved the document to a disk and have copied his message below. I like to think it's a disgruntled letter to his Mom, like the one we read this weekend! "

this is what i wrote. mind you, i wasn't yet so intimately acquainted with qwerty keyboards, so it's a little rough. now my kitty toes play the keys of a laptop like liberace played his rhinestone-encrusted baldwin grand:

B54rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttf6444443eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiii9999999999999999999988888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888887uuuuuuuuuuuu[;''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''tttttttttttttttttttt655555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555njiii0\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\]----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-n------iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkns\