ow! my beautiful ears!

ear pulling contests are scary. who ever
thought of them? i could never subject my
pretty ears to such brutality. i think
that i have nicer ears than baby kitty.
speaking of body parts, i think that my
tail is pretty fun. i have a cute tail.
baby kitty has an unattractive ratty tail.
sometimes i chase my tail and everyone
thinks that i'm crazy. i don't care what other people think.

watch amazing inuit women (did I mention my mom is inupiaq?) pulling each other's ears here:
http://community.adn.com/mini_apps/vmix/player.php?ID=1469590&GID=

she's no farrah, this one

baby kitty occasionally has bad hair days. so clearly it
is my job to fix her hair. so i try and try
to groom her. what are friends for? then she
gets all meowy and starts to squirm and fret,
and her little paw comes out and bops me on
the head. no gratitude at all, even though her
hair now looks fantastic. how can she expect to look
like a diva when her hair is out of place? i'm sure.

if I don't watch my figure, who will?

that baby kitty. she keeps trying to steal my food. i get wet food and she gets dry. that's how it is now. but when the wet food comes i can always sense her sneaking around behind me. it makes me nervous. she's sneaky. sometimes when she keeps watching me eat i lose my appetite. that's exactly what she wants, you see. after i abandon my food she slinks up and eats the rest. i hate to broadcast this to the world, but she's getting a bit paunchy. i for one am still maintaining my cute girlish figure.