mirror, mirror, on the wall...

as i was looking online the other day i came across the following description of a sea cucumber that accompanies eric satie's piano work entitled "embryons desechees."

The Holothurian crawls across boulders and rocky surfaces.
This sea-animal purrs like a cat; also, it produces disgusting silky threads. Light appears to have an incommodating effect on it.

you know, i never really thought of kitties to resemble sea cucumbers. but then i looked at baby kitty and thought, well, maybe there is a resemblance after all:

peace! joy! catnip!

dear world

merry christmas and happy new year to everyone!
and don't forget to send catnip my way.

stingo

i am so mad

i'm so mad at my gay dad. we got hauled all the
way to the vet for our rabies shots. baby kitty
screamed the entire way there. i was not happy!
meow! when we got there, we found out that we
already had our rabies shots in january, so then
we went all the way home. so all the trauma was
for nothing. baby kitty screamed the whole way
back as well. she is so dramatic. well, here's
a copy of our certificates. no rabies for us!!!

look at 94 down!

It's me!!! Notice that my gay
dad didn't finish the puzzle. There is a square
missing.

I tried to ask Baby Kitty to help me, but she was
too busy staring into space.

Oh yesterday there was a mouse in the house! I tried
to be brave and catch it. But the mouse was too
sneaky.

My gay dad caught it and took it outside. My other
gay dad DJ was scared of the mouse and cried like
a little girl.

baby kitty has fallen! and she can't get up!

i mean, really, look at her. she is without
shame.

big head

my mom loves this poem that my gay day taught
to her. she cracks up whenever she hears it.
it goes like this.

da toe da toe
sha u" bu tso.
ren jia yo san,
woa yo da toe.

here is the translation

big head big head
doesn't worry when it rains.
other people have umbrellas,
but i have a big head.

do you think my head is big?

speaking of rain, i have seen rain from the window
but i've never been in it. you know, i actually
haven't been out in a while. i'm feeling a little
pasty without the sun. do you think my gay dad could
get me a UV light? i don't want vitamin D deficiency, right?

basic instinct

this is how i see it. i am a kitty. but i am
really a puma! PUMA! i crawl to the highest point
of my living room, i mean JUNGLE! I am a PUMA in
a JUNGLE. meow. I scan the dangerous jungle for
moving signs of life. nothing. but suddenly in
the corner of my eye there is movement! my puma
senses are alert! it is baby kitty! i mean, it
is a hippo! a big HIPPO! the hippo-kitty sits
and lounges, jiggling her big hippo-kitty butt
in the open sun. i prepare to pounce at the wiggly
mound of fat, a tasty dinner at hand! here i go! i
jump! the hippo-kitty sees me, fear in her hippo eyes,
begins to run, but i am svelte and lissom, and i catch
up to her! i attack the hippo-kitty from behind! she
turns around, extends her arm and hits me on the head!
OWWWWWW. ow ow ow ow ow. so mean. such a mean
hippo-kitty. ow ow ow my head hurts. i slink away in
pain. it is difficult being king of the jungle.

sweet lydia

besides baby kitty i spent most of my life living
also with lydia, a calico who was hungry all the
time. lydia was nice but she largely ignored me,
spending most of her time sleeping or looking
for nibbles. of the three of us, she would kill
all the little mice that came our way (i am scared
of mice, did i mention?), and one
time she protected us from the evil poka (more on
poka later). she spent a great deal of time in
the litter pan, and i would have to wait and wait
and wait. one time i couldn't wait any longer
and had to pee in the houseplant.
sadly lydia died last november. my
gay dad cried and cried. here are some pictures
of lydia, one when she was a baby, and one with
my other gay dad dj.

Where's My Parade?

boo. mom gets to go kayaking and my gay dad gets to view the rockies from a helicopter. all i get to do is to play with my own tail, and everyone thinks that i am weird. baby kitty hisses and pretends that she is some fashion model. i am bored.

ow! my beautiful ears!

ear pulling contests are scary. who ever
thought of them? i could never subject my
pretty ears to such brutality. i think
that i have nicer ears than baby kitty.
speaking of body parts, i think that my
tail is pretty fun. i have a cute tail.
baby kitty has an unattractive ratty tail.
sometimes i chase my tail and everyone
thinks that i'm crazy. i don't care what other people think.

watch amazing inuit women (did I mention my mom is inupiaq?) pulling each other's ears here:
http://community.adn.com/mini_apps/vmix/player.php?ID=1469590&GID=

she's no farrah, this one

baby kitty occasionally has bad hair days. so clearly it
is my job to fix her hair. so i try and try
to groom her. what are friends for? then she
gets all meowy and starts to squirm and fret,
and her little paw comes out and bops me on
the head. no gratitude at all, even though her
hair now looks fantastic. how can she expect to look
like a diva when her hair is out of place? i'm sure.

if I don't watch my figure, who will?

that baby kitty. she keeps trying to steal my food. i get wet food and she gets dry. that's how it is now. but when the wet food comes i can always sense her sneaking around behind me. it makes me nervous. she's sneaky. sometimes when she keeps watching me eat i lose my appetite. that's exactly what she wants, you see. after i abandon my food she slinks up and eats the rest. i hate to broadcast this to the world, but she's getting a bit paunchy. i for one am still maintaining my cute girlish figure.

me -- seven years and two lives ago!

As you will notice in this digital photograph, I hail from the Anti-Cruelty Society (Chicago). My first home was on the Ravenswood brown line until Mom flew me to Houston to live with Stanley and DJ (humans), Lydia and Baby Kitty (felines), and Doubtless (Iguana). We all lived there until we moved to Wellesley, Mass.

My how a body gets around.

true colors!

My gay dad took my delinquent mom to the big gay Cyndi Lauper all-star concert in Boston. Oh, how I yearned to go! If only I could have seen Rufus Wainright, Erasure, Blondie and Margaret Cho under one roof! I had my heart on hearing Blondie, but understand she was not so good. But, a big shout out to Margaret Cho for her rap about her "puss!"



"My puss is keeping it real. Your puss invented the wheel!"