basic instinct

this is how i see it. i am a kitty. but i am
really a puma! PUMA! i crawl to the highest point
of my living room, i mean JUNGLE! I am a PUMA in
a JUNGLE. meow. I scan the dangerous jungle for
moving signs of life. nothing. but suddenly in
the corner of my eye there is movement! my puma
senses are alert! it is baby kitty! i mean, it
is a hippo! a big HIPPO! the hippo-kitty sits
and lounges, jiggling her big hippo-kitty butt
in the open sun. i prepare to pounce at the wiggly
mound of fat, a tasty dinner at hand! here i go! i
jump! the hippo-kitty sees me, fear in her hippo eyes,
begins to run, but i am svelte and lissom, and i catch
up to her! i attack the hippo-kitty from behind! she
turns around, extends her arm and hits me on the head!
OWWWWWW. ow ow ow ow ow. so mean. such a mean
hippo-kitty. ow ow ow my head hurts. i slink away in
pain. it is difficult being king of the jungle.