Wednesday, August 29, 2007

basic instinct

this is how i see it. i am a kitty. but i am
really a puma! PUMA! i crawl to the highest point
of my living room, i mean JUNGLE! I am a PUMA in
a JUNGLE. meow. I scan the dangerous jungle for
moving signs of life. nothing. but suddenly in
the corner of my eye there is movement! my puma
senses are alert! it is baby kitty! i mean, it
is a hippo! a big HIPPO! the hippo-kitty sits
and lounges, jiggling her big hippo-kitty butt
in the open sun. i prepare to pounce at the wiggly
mound of fat, a tasty dinner at hand! here i go! i
jump! the hippo-kitty sees me, fear in her hippo eyes,
begins to run, but i am svelte and lissom, and i catch
up to her! i attack the hippo-kitty from behind! she
turns around, extends her arm and hits me on the head!
OWWWWWW. ow ow ow ow ow. so mean. such a mean
hippo-kitty. ow ow ow my head hurts. i slink away in
pain. it is difficult being king of the jungle.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

sweet lydia



besides baby kitty i spent most of my life living
also with lydia, a calico who was hungry all the
time. lydia was nice but she largely ignored me,
spending most of her time sleeping or looking
for nibbles. of the three of us, she would kill
all the little mice that came our way (i am scared
of mice, did i mention?), and one
time she protected us from the evil poka (more on
poka later). she spent a great deal of time in
the litter pan, and i would have to wait and wait
and wait. one time i couldn't wait any longer
and had to pee in the houseplant.
sadly lydia died last november. my
gay dad cried and cried. here are some pictures
of lydia, one when she was a baby, and one with
my other gay dad dj.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

Where's My Parade?

boo. mom gets to go kayaking and my gay dad gets to view the rockies from a helicopter. all i get to do is to play with my own tail, and everyone thinks that i am weird. baby kitty hisses and pretends that she is some fashion model. i am bored.